Grief comes in many forms and for many reasons. Naturally the first thing we associate with the experience is the death of a friend, pet, or loved one. However, there are many occurrences not associated with death that cause grief and a deep sense of loss. A friend moving away, loss of a job and income, a divorce causing a family bond to be shattered.
Webster defines grief as “a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement” (merriam-webster.com). We often hear about the five different stages associated with grief that one may experience, first denying the “event” has happened, to ultimately accepting the fact your life will never be the same. How well we deal with and manage the process of grief depends on many factors associated with the individual.
The DSM-5 list prolong grief-disorder in with trauma and stress. I believe it’s fair to say trauma and stress symptoms will be a part of the whole experience. But does the process have to be so overwhelming that it overtakes us, causing our bereavement and sadness to transform our ability to function normally, this you probably won’t know, or understand until experiencing a significant loss.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, one I often use with faulty behavior seen in adolescents, has also proven its worth as a therapy technique dealing with grief. Negative thought patterns are examined, and together with the therapist the patient is able to see a connection between thought patterns and behaviors. Often the survivor admits to feeling angry over the loss, blames themselves or others, believing there was something they should or could have done, even thoughts of self-harm can surface due to the pain associated with the loss and a life forever changed.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NLT) “For everything there is a season, and a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry ad time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace”. The Word tells us to seek peace and go after it, that we find our true peace through the Father.
There is hope, in the gospel of Matthew we read and understand that God is asking each of us who are weak, to come to Him with our burdens and He will give us rest. There is hope found in the comfort received from our Heavenly Father as we mourn. God cares about our every need, He understands loss, after all He witnessed His Son tortured, nailed to a cross, and die for our sakes.
Julie Evans, LPC-S
Owner/Therapist - Ash Street Ministries LLC
Julie was born in 1960 into a loving Christian family in the small town of Goldonna Louisiana.
Julie always loved the outdoors, with horseback riding, hunting, and sports being my favorite pastimes growing up. Julie never had the option to remain home during church services, we all went every time the doors were open. Later, Julie would realize how important that aspect of my life had been, and how establishing a foundation built on Christian principle would carry me through some of the most difficult challenges.
Julie is married to her wonderful husband, have two grown children, and two amazing grandchildren that she enjoys spending time with as well as her mom, two sisters, and brother. Her dad passed away Jan. 6, 2023. She loves a variety of art including watercolor, oils, and scripture art. She enjoys gardening, and riding her trusted mare Three Bars of Grace, aka, Ms. Gracie.
"Life was simple growing up, but not without challenges. Adversity during childhood, especially in the sixties, was not discussed and went unnoticed by caretakers, parents, and family. Betrayal alters the mindset during childhood, stollen portion of innocence forever perish, leaving mistrust and questions for many years in its wake. This is the area where I do my most rewarding work."
Julie's past work has been in the school system, working 23+ years as a school bus driver, and entering college later her career. She knew in her heart she would become a counselor; using her personal experiences and be the voice for children and adults alike. "You cannot be an accomplished therapist, one who is able to demonstrate true empathic concern without having experience. God knew all along…"
Earning a BS degree in psychology and addiction studies in 2012, and in 2014 a MA in Counseling from Northwestern State University, she returned to the school system to work with children until her current position as school-based counselor for WCHC. "As Christ has led me to continue my education, I am currently finishing my Ph.D. program from the University of Holy Cross in New Orleans LA. in Counseling, Leadership and Supervision.
Recently I established my private practice, Ash Street Ministries LLC providing Christian counseling services."
She is not opposed to a variety of therapy techniques; however, she is notorious for combining aspects of different theories appropriate for the individual. "I love CBT, Art Therapy, Play Therapy, Person Centered Therapy, and my own Creative Therapy, which incorporates aspects of each of the ones above. Two verses I love…
'For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.'
Philippians 4:13
'For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.'"
2 Timothy 1:7
Julie Evans LPC-S, NCC, Christian Counselor